Facebook stares back...

My children think I am the biggest dork in the world for having a Facebook (FB) account. And, I might agree with them. It all began when my sister posted the pictures of our visit home last summer on her FB account; and, I created my own account so I could access the photos.

Within in hours of landing in the Facebook world, two dozen folks from my Kingdom past had "friend requested" me. I declined no one. Although, I must admit, it was strange to see the daily (and sometimes hourly) status updates of people with whom there had been little or no contact for years.

"So-and-so is fixin' to take a nap." OR, "Whosit just finished a cup 'o joe."

Then some of my colleagues joined Facebook. Against my better judgment, I accepted their invitations. I am not sure I ever wanted to know that "Whatsername" had a tattoo. THERE.

Something about too much information all the way around made me feel compromised, and I made a graceful exit. Well, it might not have been that graceful. I just deleted the FB account with a defiant push of a button.

Months later, when Ronda and I were doing a search for someone, I reactivated the account to follow a lead. In her cozy living room, we spent a January afternoon crouched over our laptop screens creeping through Facebook and "googling" like madwomen. People searches sure have changed since the days when she had to call every "Wright" in the D.C. area phone book to find the person who might know something about someone.

With my FB account back up and running, more friend requests rolled in. My own "mumma" is on Facebook. She POKED me last month. It cracked me up to read her status update, "Paulette just finished practicing some hymn variations on the piano." Love, love, love her.

I will confess that I have directed people in my "real world" to join my LinkedIn network if they ask to keep in touch with me. Somehow mixing the unpredictable land of social networking, full of Superpokes and cow flinging, with my professional standing doesn't sit right with me.

And, there is another reason. Although I avoid joining FB causes on either side of the aisle, there are many of my FB friends who are members of causes that lean a bit more to the right than I do. This makes me nervous. (as stated in a post that I did pull down out of respect to my more conservative husband)

And then there are the gifts connected to causes...

"Would you put this dust bunny in your dust bunny garden and send me one back? Together we can stamp out leprosy."

At first blush, you might ask, what is the harm in participating? No one wants anyone to suffer from leprosy; and dust bunnies are cute. However, if you choose to accept the innocuous dust bunny, you will find that you are agreeing to terms of service that require a morning sacrifice, your first born, and access to all the friends in your network.

FB applications are invasive by design. The first thing they do is load your entire address book and ask you if you want to invite anyone else to join. Once you have established your network, FB bleeds through the cyber layers to present you with a list of "people you might know." And, the truth is...you do know them. FB morphs you through six degrees of separation faster than you can say, "Bob's your uncle."

The straw that broke my FB back came this morning when I signed on to discover that I was now friends with "Christian Freedom." I scratched my FB head and tried hard to remember when I had accepted this request. Upon investigation, I discovered that "Christian" was married to my cousin, Karen.

D'oh. Jim Jacobson, Karen's husband, my former Sunday School teacher, and originator of the friend request in question, had changed his name to Christian Freedom, AFTER I had accepted his invitation. Call me a curmudgeon, but I was not (I am not) happy about this. Isn't "bait and switch" illegal?

Beware when you stare into Facebook, for when you stare into Facebook, it stares back at you. And, it WILL get your stuff when you least expect it.