What's in your toolbox?

A few years ago I had the good fortune to meet with a therapist who fit my need on every level. I like to say she helped me finish growing up. My diagnosis was PTSD. My treatment was EMDR, a form of cognitive therapy. It involved a little tapping, a little talking, a lot of silence, and even more prayer.

One of the most valuable things she did during my time with her was to help me pack my "toolbox." I don't think she called it a toolbox because that would have just been too much of a buzz word. But, the lessons I learned about myself in that little basement office gave me tools that I still use today.

She took one terrible, soul-crushing incident and helped me see that it wasn't the whole of me. With her help, I stepped back far enough to see that the black tangle of that incident was just a corner in the great, rich tapestry of my life.

And, I learned...

1. You can contain any situation or emotion. You don't have to dump out all your dirty laundry at once. It is possible to treat one piece at a time. Sometimes an issue is delicate and needs extra stain stick or special care. Other situations are more durable and can be washed with like colors.

2. When something happens, ask yourself, what is the truth? The truth might be that someone else messed up. And, the truth might be that you messed up. Accepting the truth either way really does set you free.

3. You can heal from the inside out. Just as your body heals the bruises that we can see, it also holds the knowledge to heal the bruises on your soul. (for those of you who have faith, you understand what this means)

4. You can recognize what parts of you are reacting in a situation. Not as though you are Sybil or anything, but we have our child selves, our rebel selves, our good selves, our caretaker selves, our spiritual selves etc. and each plays a part in how we deal with life. When we recognize the self that is calling out, we are much better equipped for dealing with a situation.