Yirat Shamayim

Let me preface this post by stating: I haven't gone to any breakup/breakdown/breakthrough/break-a-leg meetings or weekends. I haven't been talking to anyone. I haven't read any new spiritual help books. I am not dying and trying to make peace with my Maker.

That being said, my soul has been busy stirring from the molasses that has held it captive for more years than any soul should spend trapped in molasses. It is as if a spiritual antennae has been tuned to a special frequency just for me. And, I am paying attention. There have been no revelations; just odds and ends that fire random jolts of hope through the halls of my dusty heart.

One random bit paraphrased from "Are you Afraid of your Soul?" by Simon Jacobson:

The Hebrew words commonly mistranslated as "fear of God," are Yirat Shamayim which really mean 'awe of heaven.' What a difference there is between those two translations. To fear God weakens the spirit. Awe strengthens it. To fear God demoralizes the soul. Awe uplifts it. To fear God squashes joy. Awe calls joy forth. Yirat Shamayim (awe of God) acknowledges the distance between man and his Creator and calls us upward to greater things.

And, then there are the two sermons that have most stuck with me in the past decade. Both were simple in content, but they inspired lasting Yirat Shamayim.

The first was delivered by my own dear husband, Jim. The text was from the Old Testament. He brought out the illustration that God doesn't stand at the intersection of His "Thou Shalt Nots" and our free will with a baseball bat. The lines that He draws for us are not intended to be a challenge. God never says: Here is the line. I dare you to cross it. Instead he says, "My Child, here is the line. I have drawn it because I have seen the heartache that comes to those who cross it. I want to spare you that pain. Please don't...just don't. "

The second was of a similar theme brought to our little congregation by a guest speaker more than six years after my heart had responded to that first message. The lesson was basic. God knows WHAT we do. But, God also knows WHY we do it. He knows why we cry. He knows why we are empty. He knows why we sin. He knows the hurts that drive us away from him instead of to him. And, God cares about the "why" far more than he cares about the "what."